Proverbs 12:18; 17:27–28
One of adulthood’s greatest discoveries is realizing that not every thought needs to be shared. I wish I had figured that out a little earlier in life. There have been plenty of times when a thought entered my head and somehow made it all the way out of my mouth without encountering a single security checkpoint. No pause. No filter. No one asking, “Are you sure you want to say this?” Perhaps the worst place for that to happen is while I’m preaching. There are moments when I hear myself say something and immediately think, “Well, that wasn’t in the notes.” If you know, you know.
Somewhere on the journey of following Jesus, we have to learn that just because something is true, funny, irritating or incredibly obvious does not mean it needs to be said.
Proverbs puts it this way. “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing” (Proverbs 12:18, NLT). Our words can cut or they can heal. They can make a tense situation worse or help calm it down. They can embarrass someone or encourage them. They can win an argument while damaging a relationship.
A few chapters later, Proverbs says, “A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent” (Proverbs 17:27–28, NLT).
That last sentence makes me laugh because apparently Scripture’s advice for occasionally appearing smarter is simply to stop talking. I have spent years trying to become wiser when at times evidently silence could have improved my reputation considerably.
Restraint does not mean we never speak honestly. Jesus spoke the truth clearly. There are conversations we need to have, wrongs we need to confront and words that need to be said. Wisdom is knowing the difference between something that needs to be said and something I simply want to say.
Before speaking, it might help to ask if this needs to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said right now and can I say it in a way that reflects Jesus?
Following Christ includes surrendering our words to Him. The goal is not simply to say fewer things. It is to let Jesus shape the things we do say. Today, before giving someone that opinion, correction, comeback or observation sitting on the tip of your tongue, give the Holy Spirit a moment to interrupt you. Sometimes the most Christlike thing you can say is nothing at all.