A friend reached out recently with a question of faith for me to consider whenever I returned to this series. The problem is, I have not been able to get the question out of my mind for the past several days. At the same time, some close friends of ours are walking through an incredibly difficult season and their circumstances have made this question feel even more timely and personal. So, rather than putting it away for another day, I decided to make this a Saturday bonus edition of Questions of Faith. In some ways, I think I need this reminder as much as anyone who might read it. So, here we go.
Question: How do you pray when your heart feels so heavy that you can't seem to put into words what you even want to say?
There are moments in life when prayer comes easily. You know exactly what you want to say, what you need and what you are asking God to do. Then there are other moments when you sit down to pray and nothing comes out.
Your heart is heavy. Your mind is exhausted. Maybe you are grieving, worried, disappointed or simply overwhelmed. You know you need God, but you cannot seem to put what you are feeling into a coherent sentence. You start with, “God, I…” and that is about as far as you get.
Here is something important to remember. That still counts as prayer.
We sometimes think prayer needs to be well organized. We imagine we should approach God with complete sentences, appropriate theological terminology and maybe a nice closing paragraph before saying amen. Thankfully, God is not grading our prayers for grammar.
Romans 8 gives us one of the most comforting promises in Scripture: “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words” (Romans 8:26, NLT).
I love that. God knows there will be moments when we do not know how to pray.
Sometimes the most honest prayer you can offer is, “God, I don’t even know what to say.” Sometimes it is tears. Sometimes it is silence. Sometimes it is sitting alone with God and whispering the name of Jesus because that is about all you have left.
According to Romans 8, the Holy Spirit meets us there.
That means the effectiveness of prayer does not depend upon our ability to explain ourselves perfectly. God already knows what is happening inside us. David wrote, “You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD” (Psalm 139:4, NLT). Prayer is not about finding the perfect words to convince God to listen. It is bringing our imperfect, exhausted and sometimes wordless hearts into His presence.
There have been times in my own life when I have had plenty of words for God. There have also been times when I have had almost none. I am learning that God is present in both.
So when your heart is too heavy for words, do not worry about trying to manufacture them. Sit with God. Cry if you need to cry. Tell Him, “I don’t know how to pray right now, but I need You.”
Your weakness does not disqualify you from prayer. It may actually be the place where you discover something beautiful about prayer: you were never carrying the conversation alone!